I have never been one to set a lot of goals. I admire those who are big-picture gals. I’m just not one of them. I make a lot of lists, try to do my best, but many times, striving for something lofty has brought me nothing but pain and disappointment. Even when I had prayed about certain issues, God still closed doors. No, he slammed them. And often, it felt like my fingers got caught in the door.
I have frequently felt shame and guilt about this – sometimes jealous of others who do grand things, and have climbed the ladder to success in the Christian life. They have made such a difference. God really has used them in mighty ways. Why couldn’t I do that? Am I setting the wrong goals? Am I not listening to God closely enough? Am I ignoring what He is telling me?
So I heave a sigh, try harder, worry more, and keep trudging along in this thing called life.
I am always amazed when God meets me right where I am. Something seemingly insignificant will jump right out at me, undeniably from My Father sent directly to me. This happened few days ago.
First, let me tell you that I am a visual person. It takes me 5, 10, 50 times of hearing a song before the words mean something to me. I was the 80’s girl who bought a new cassette, popped it in the boom box, then proceeded to pull out the insert and read the lyrics along with Michael W. or Amy as they sang them. I had to SEE the words for them to mean something to me.
Recently, I loaded some new songs onto my phone. As I was driving into town to run some errands, I had them plugged in to my car radio. The song “Dream Small” by Josh Wilson came on. I had never heard this song before, or even heard of the artist. I just purchased it on a whim, even acknowledging to myself that dreaming small had to go against good theology, right?! I know this was from God, however, because I heard, understood, and felt every word.
This never happens to me. Halfway through the song, I was sobbing so hard, I couldn’t breathe. God sent those words to me. Let me share:
Don’t buy the lie you’ve got to do it all
Just let Jesus use you where you are
One day at a time
Loving God and others as yourself
Find little ways where only you can help
With His great love
A tiny rock can make a giant fall so
Friends – I am almost weeping typing these words! I am ok! God made me this way! I don’t HAVE to set lofty goals!
These simple moments change the world!
The relief and freedom I felt hearing these words was literally like a wave of peace and grace washing over me. It is an issue I have struggled with for a long time, and, for some reason, especially this summer. God doesn’t need me to start a new ministry. He doesn’t need me to spearhead a new program, or create a VBS or Sunday School curriculum.
Of course there’s nothin’ wrong with bigger dreams.
Thank God some of you are called to dream bigger dreams! I am in awe of you, and appreciate the gifts God gave you. But it’s ok that I didn’t get those gifts!
The God who does all things makes oceans from rivers.
I don’t have to be an ocean – but thank God some of you are called to be oceans. I can, and am created to be, a river! A river! Wow! Just, wow! I can do that. I can be a river.
So, be what God created you to be! Find freedom in that, you precious women. We beat ourselves up enough-stop. Be who you are. Dream small.
I love knowing how God meets us where we are. If you have a story, I’d love to hear and help you share it with other women. There is power in seeing how God works in others’ lives. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your stories. Thanks for letting me share mine.